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[2021-06-04 02:48:28] <Lucifer_arma> Z-Man: in the analogy, then yeah, that would be the right thing to do.  But we don't accept people wanting to contribute that want to keep their code to themselves.  This has come up a few times.  It has to come out in the open.  I seem to recall we actually had someone offering code,
[2021-06-04 02:48:58] <Lucifer_arma> but they weren't willing to GPL the code.  So I had to tell them they couldn't release it at all, then, and they were okay with that, but it meant no binaries either
[2021-06-04 02:49:42] <Lucifer_arma> Translating that analogy to the recovery meeting, though, I'm *not* an anonymous contributor.  I was already running the Tuesday meetings and managing our relationship with the facility.  So, not anonymous.  Inactive.
[2021-06-04 02:50:02] <Lucifer_arma> Inactive because when the zoom meetings started last year, one of the first big events that happened was people going to zoom AA meetings got outed, and some of them lost their jobs
[2021-06-04 02:50:42] <Lucifer_arma> that's literally the opposite of what Alcoholics Anonymous is all about.  We keep people's confidence, and protect their privacy (Recovery Dharma is just a buddhist-inspired group that operates similarly to AA).
[2021-06-04 02:51:03] <Lucifer_arma> so I opted out of the zoom meetings because they couldn't protect my privacy, and I couldn't protect anybody's either
[2021-06-04 02:51:32] <Lucifer_arma> anyway, I lit a fire under their ass calling out their control freakery, pointing out that my problems with zoom meetings are real and never got addressed, and so forth.
[2021-06-04 02:51:45] <Lucifer_arma> So the message is getting around that the meetings I've started up again are happening.
[2021-06-04 02:52:10] <Lucifer_arma> It's a bit frustrating that I had to light a fire under somebody's ass to get movement, but I'll deal with that.
[2021-06-04 03:35:47] <Lucifer_arma> Now, in the current drama, because that recovery dharma drama was soooo two days ago....
[2021-06-04 03:36:16] <Lucifer_arma> Reminder: I'm still in the process of divorcing.  So "my wife" refers to "my soon-to-be ex-wife", and "my mother-in-law" is "soon-to-be former mother-in-law" etc.
[2021-06-04 03:36:49] <Lucifer_arma> So today my wife went over to her mom's house and found her, well, in a bad spot.  She'd previously fallen while trying to get to the door and wasn't strong enough to pick herself back up.
[2021-06-04 03:36:57] <Lucifer_arma> literally that old commercial we used to laugh about
[2021-06-04 03:37:10] <Lucifer_arma> Anyway, wife ended up calling 911, took her to the hospital
[2021-06-04 03:37:24] <Lucifer_arma> she's extremely low on sodium, which some temporary cognitive effects
[2021-06-04 03:37:31] <Lucifer_arma> so, why did she fall?
[2021-06-04 03:38:13] <Lucifer_arma> Reminder, this is the woman who complained about how nobody was helping her clean her trashed-out house, and how her daugher (my wife) was the reason there was so much junk in there.  Then I stepped up and took responsibility for cleaning, and she threw me out.  That was why I went to Kansas the second time.
[2021-06-04 03:38:52] <Lucifer_arma> so her house is now worse than even I imagined, according to my wife.  Adult Protective Services is getting involved, because clearly there's a shitload of neglect here (it's self-neglect, and yes, they step in for that, too)
[2021-06-04 03:39:10] <Lucifer_arma> there's a big ol' "I told you so" here that's available for me
[2021-06-04 03:39:25] <Lucifer_arma> but what's really important is that my mother-in-law is currently in the hospital overnight, possibly for several days
[2021-06-04 03:39:38] <Lucifer_arma> they're pumping her up with electrolytes and hoping that fixed the low sodium problem
[2021-06-04 03:39:48] <Lucifer_arma> if it does, then they'll get to actually try to diagnose an underlying condition
[2021-06-04 03:40:03] <Lucifer_arma> but honestly, she's a hoarder, and it's entirely possible that THAT's the underlying condition
[2021-06-04 03:40:38] <Lucifer_arma> I hope they don't discriminate on her being a hoarder, you know, the way they discriminate against fat (sexy!) people, so they can actually look at her health and figure out what to do
[2021-06-04 03:41:10] <Lucifer_arma> but there's now the strong possibility she's going to lose the house she spent all that time working to pay off because she didn't take care of it, and that's the source of the big ol' "I told you so" that's available to me
[2021-06-04 03:41:51] <Lucifer_arma> low sodium could easily cause the confusion she was having, the dizziness that led to her falling, and the weakness that prevented her from getting up
[2021-06-04 03:42:19] <Lucifer_arma> nobody knows how long she was stuck there, either.  So, the low sodium could be low electrolytes from being stuck in front of the door and unable to get up
[2021-06-04 03:43:07] <Lucifer_arma> what's frustrating for me, here, is that she has the same refusal to ask for help that my wife has.  It takes excruciating pain or downright debilitation to call in a doctor, to say nothing of the fact that none of this clan will ever seek out mental health services
[2021-06-04 03:43:32] <Lucifer_arma> so whatever's happening was always preventable, but due to sheer stubbornness, it had to happen
[2021-06-04 03:43:49] <Lucifer_arma> I'm hoping some views change, but I'm not waiting around for it.  Divorce plan is still proceeding.  I'm waaaay behind schedule.
[2021-06-04 03:46:18] <Lucifer_arma> also, side note, my wife has no idea how vivid my imagination is.  She should've been proofreading my books for me, like she fucking promised she would, so she'd know I have a vivid imagination.  But she didn't, so she doesn't.
[2021-06-04 03:47:33] <Lucifer_arma> also, finally, if it looks like I might be focusing on shit that don't matter when people's lives are at stake, keep in mind I'm in the process of DIVORCING this family, and I have no role in what's happening right now.  I'm just on the outside looking in.
[2021-06-04 03:48:01] <Lucifer_arma> so I'm free to think anything I want.  In the event I open my mouth, I'm only offering support to my wife, because I'm not a dick.
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